Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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