Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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