He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
