whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
