You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
