Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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