So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
