was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
