She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i think i have herpe
just one?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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