Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
