Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i think i have two assholes
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So vagazzling was a success
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
