herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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