So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm too high and old for this...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
