I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
