he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
