i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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