I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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