OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
