I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Randomize
