i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
