I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
