I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
