I wanna passion pit in your ass
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
