As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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