"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
