hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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