just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize