I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
