wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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