After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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