oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
