i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize