susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
