He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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