i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
