he puts the penis in happiness.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Mom said you looked used
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
foreskin is a definite game changer
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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