I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
