Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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