Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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