would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
