Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
What a dumb baby whore.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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