There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
