According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
