Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
