Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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