I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
