i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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