I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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