I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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