How's work?
Spinning.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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