In the future we'll all be gay
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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