he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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