I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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