tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
