Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
