I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
