Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
