it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
