Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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