What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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