i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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