You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
